In the last blog, we started a discussion about why diets don’t work. You can read that post here. The ultimate message was that we need to uncover the root mindset patterns that are driving our behaviors in order for us to achieve desired results and establish lasting wellness. The commonly adhered to, cultural, patterns result in fixed-mindset, temporary results and cyclic patterns that hinder our longterm wellness. In short- they bust our metabolism on a level that we are completely and totally unaware of until we pull on a pair of pants one day and turn to face the music in the mirror, or worse still, receive the phone call from our doctor with bad news.
Wellness is not solely comprised of weight, and weight is not an exclusive indicator of health.
The exclusive focus on weight is a very personal thing, but it’s driven and influenced by cultural messaging. I mean by this, that your personal experience with your body is about you, but it’s based on messaging that has come from something OTHER than you. When I say it this way, can you see how twisted and backward that is?
I think a little self disclosure may be helpful to prove my point here. You don’t have to be certified in ANYTHING to know that your weight fluctuates throughout the day based on varied factors, influences, phases and yes, even the cycle of the moon. We totally make up stories about these fluctuations, no matter where we are in our journey, that determine our life experiences, mood, self-concept and social identity. When monitored, I’ve seen my own weight go up as many as SEVEN pounds in A DAY. Now, what kinds of things may you be saying/thinking to yourself if you were to see a 7 pound gain by the end of A DAY? We’re not even going to get into the thought mapping here, that is what we do when we work 1:1 together. But, that 7 pounds did not indicate I suddenly become unhealthy or unwell, or that – yes we call truth truth here “I am fat!”. It DOES have a LOT to do with my individual body and how well I absorb, process, detoxify and respond to specific foods and daily activities. This is a process I’ve been through of learning my body, identifying how my thoughts are either truth or perception, and how to create functional, optimal wellness from the differentiation of those two! This is true for all of us, and the manifestation of our bio-individuality is sometimes perceivable through weight. So, weight gets focused on, and as you know, has been idealized by our popular culture AND medical world. Weight is a symptom. It is ONE piece of our true wellness, which is really the summation of individual acts, thoughts, and lifestyle approaches that creates our physical, mental and spiritual experiences.
So, what do we do with this awareness?
We come to a place of agreement that no one person, program, detox, or fad can create our wellness outcome for us. Once we accept and implement the experiment of SELF, we also need honest education about food and how our bodies were designed to process foods. This is the Awarding Life tenet of understanding; while knowledge may be power, it is the APPLICATION of knowledge that creates freedom. We can know, and learn, and absorb all of the true information we want, but if we’re not using it, we will stay stuck. This is where the part about being people really creates an interesting opportunity for us. We can either choose to do all sorts of things to avoid, deny, distract, rationalize, justify and explain our situations, ideas and desires; or we can choose to create the action plan that would lead us to the outcomes we desire and then DO those actions.
This is the difference between being a victim to our unique ability to use defense mechanisms to please and enable our conscious experience in life and actually living the lives we were created and desire to live!
And, we cannot do it on our own. We were created for connection and not just because connection feels good, but because connection in honesty and vulnerability is what creates real change! We will NEVER truly see the truth if we’re going at it alone, because left to our own devices, our defense mechanisms and unique patterns/tendencies, maladaptive behaviors create a chaotic, confusing whirlwind in our minds! Unfortunately, it is our life outcomes that suffer. A coach I hired (because we all need help!) once told me that I cannot read the label from inside the jar. What a clear picture of how allowing someone else to know my story, even the ugly, awkward, embarrassing parts, will serve me!
Once we add in healthy accountability for personal desires and daily lifestyle, we have an equation for experience life at optimal levels. (There is a safe way to seek and implement healthy accountability and it doesn’t involve posting on Facebook or drowning our sorrows with girlfriends on a Friday night.) Basically, this means, we have to stop addressing wellness, health, fitness, and weight with diet and exercise programs, only, and commit to the fact that we are WHOLE people, not pieces of people.
You are YOU- your God created identity; you have a MIND- your soul, your way of thinking; and you live in a BODY- no explanation required.
When we understand that marketing slogans and techniques create a false sense of certainty for us, it frees us up to look elsewhere for that necessary sense of security. We DO need to feel secure in life before we can be free to explore and experiment, both of which are required to know what foods, how much, and in what combination are good for your body. But when we seek that security from an external source, we will always come up short. There is a unique harmony of external information, inextricably combined with our internal identify and needs. We need help finding this! I had to learn my body and educate myself on food, while also coming to admit and accept my own cognitive tendencies and patterns to understand why my body and experience were they way they were! When I began to act on all of these pieces of information, my life began to change; my body began to show up for me!
This is a never ending discussion and there is no finish line. It’s daunting and sometimes frustrating because, again, we humans desire security and certainty as a part of life. We are all in process and there are certain things we need to have more faith in than certainty. When we can get honest with one another, we begin to eat, move, live, breath in a way that allows us to be who we were made to be!
I’ll wrap up this discussion, for the time being, by reminding us that in the last post that we get to choose the definition of diet we adhere to. Our diet can be the way we approach consuming food and the relationship we have with it, not a specific, rigid, unrelated to self, short term program that gets us temporary results.
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